Dozens of Dishonest Questions, Dozens I Tell You

10259699_10206679101548941_563729809442277661_nThe following list of questions have been gathered from various Christian sources for my own amusement. They are taken unmodified from their sources, so all the original punctuation, emphasis, and errors have been preserved. Most were presented as questions “atheists can’t answer”, so I’m going to answer them all quite easily and then laugh about it.

How did you become an atheist?

By not believing in gods.

What happens when we die?

Our bodies stop functioning and our consciousness ends.

What if you’re wrong? And there is a heaven? And there is a HELL!

What if you’re wrong and there is a hell for people who believe in gods?

Without God, where do you get your morality from?

Same place everyone gets their morality…intuition, instinct, empathy, and experience.

If there is no God, can we do what we want? Are we free to murder and rape? While good deeds are unrewarded?

You can do what you want. There will be consequences for it, though, and just because you can do it doesn’t make it good.

If there is no god, how does your life have any meaning? What purpose do we have if evolution is real?

My life has all the meaning and purpose I choose to derive from any source I like.

Where did the universe come from?

Nobody knows. Anybody who claims they do is lying or deluded.

What about miracles? What all the people who claim to have a connection with Jesus? What about those who claim to have seen saints or angels?

What about all the people who claim to have a connection with non-Christian deities? What about those who claim to have seen faeries or other magical beings? What about those who claim to have been abducted by aliens? What about the imaginary characters I invent and have conversations with?

If there is no God, then why does every society have a religion?

They don’t. In fact, of all the people who have ever lived, a majority have probably not believed in any god at all. There have been plenty of major societies throughout history that followed atheistic philosophies. Monotheistic religion especially is insignificant in comparison.

If dinosaurs turned into birds, why are we not afraid of them?

I’d be afraid of terror birds, but they’re extinct now. You should be afraid of ostriches if you’re pissing them off, because they can run very fast and kill you with one kick. But most birds don’t pose a threat. Therefore we don’t fear them, because fear is a response to threats.

If homosexuality is right, then how come two people of the same sex not produce a child?

They actually can now thanks to technology. If heterosexuality is right, then how come some opposite-sex couples are not able to produce a child?

You say Jesus never existed, but have you heard of the Shroud of Turin?

Yes. It’s a hoax dating to the Middle Ages (sometime around the year 1300).

Why do we not see humans being born in the zoos from monkeys if we came from monkeys?

DNA is a thing. Why do you not see white Americans being born in Europe to European people, if we came from Europe?

Why do we go to church if God is not real?

Because it makes you feel happy emotions.

How did the Grand Canyon form?

Erosion.

If Christianity is false, then why is it popular?

If Islam is false, then why is it popular?

If you say Christianity is not true, then why do hundreds of people continue to become saved every day?

If you say Christianity is true, then why do hundreds of people continue to deconvert from it every day?

Why do we not see half trees and half carrots, fronkeys, and crocoducks if evolution is real?

I don’t know what a fronkey or a crocoduck is, but have you heard of the duckbeaver…aka the platypus? Evolution doesn’t result in everything you can imagine coming true. It only results in organisms that are adapted to surviving in their environment.

Why is Richard Dawkins afraid to debate Ray Comfort?

Dawkins already explained that himself. Comfort is an idiot who would waste his time. The use of the word “afraid” makes this a leading question.

Did you know Christopher Hitchens was saved before death?

No, because he wasn’t. He even warned that people would dishonestly make that claim about him.

Are you aware Ray Comfort disproved atheism with a banana?

Comfort’s banana argument is a ridiculous joke, and not only because bananas were intelligently designed by humans via selective breeding.

Why do people laugh at evolutionists?

Because they are ignorant of evolution and afflicted by the Dunning-Kruger effect.

How did the planets form when the Big Bang explosion all of a sudden happen? After all, you don’t see round objects form when something blows up.

An immense amount of time passed after the Big Bang (which was not an explosion) before planets formed. First, hydrogen and helium had to clump together to form stars, and then those stars had to burn up and explode to fling heavier matter into space. Then planets could form due to the gravitational attraction of that matter, which gathers together in space much like water pools together into lakes and rivers after being haphazardly sprinkled from the sky as rain.

If evolution is real, how can it explain gravity, angular momentum, human emotions, and why we worship God?

Evolution cannot explain gravity or angular momentum, since those are questions of physics and evolution only explains the biological process of speciation. Human emotions are physical processes in the brain, which has been proven by direct observation of brain activity and is a result of our evolution. You worship god because someone convinced you he’s real and it makes you feel happy emotions.

How did pond scum make living things appear out of nowhere?

It didn’t.

How can evolution be true if we don’t see pocket watches or airplanes form by themselves?

Living things are nothing like pocket watches or airplanes. How can life be true if we don’t see pocket watches and airplanes reproducing on their own?

Did you know that dinosaurs and man lived together?

They didn’t.

Why do we celebrate Christmas if Christianity is not real?

The Christian church had a lot of power and stole the holiday from pagans to impose their religion on everyone.

If evolution is true, then why can’t white people compete to be good in basketball like black people? After all, white people can’t jump!

Genetically different groups of people can have different average physical characteristics because they’ve adapted to different environments.

Where do you decide to fit God in your everyday life if you don’t believe in him?

Nowhere.

Why is Christianity the fastest growing religion if it’s false?

It isn’t. Islam owns that title.

Why should be it wrong to rape if God is not real?

Rape is undesirable and harmful to the victim, and “wrong” is defined as “that which is undesirable or harmful”.

Why do the fossils say no to evolution?

They don’t. They provide a very clear picture of evolution.

Why did Darwin admit that how the eye formed is impossible?

He didn’t. He admitted that he didn’t know how it was possible and said more data was needed. That was a long time ago and we’ve since obtained a lot more data and discovered how it is possible.

If there is no God, then why do we have laws that govern us, such as speed limits?

We have some laws because they help us survive better. We have others because authoritarians like to oppress people.

Why do we not act like monkeys if it is true we came from monkeys?

Why do you not act like your medieval-era ancestors if you’re descended from them? We do share an enormous number of traits and most of our DNA with our closest relatives (bonobos, chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans), but we’ve evolved differently so we don’t act like them in many ways, just like they don’t act like each other all the time.

Why do we display The Ten Commandments in the courtrooms if you say the Bible is not real?

Christianity had a lot of power over our government for a long time.

How can America not be a Christian nation if there are way more churches than mosques?

Depends on what you mean by “Christian nation”. If you mean “a nation based on Christianity”, that’s easily refuted by listening to the people who actually started the nation. If you simply mean “a nation where the majority of citizens are Christian”, that’s a different story.

How is the bible not real if it’s the most popular book read by man?

There are a few other religious books that may challenge that title. Either way, popularity does not make anything true.

How did the moon form?

Another small planet crashed into earth when they were young and the end result of the catastrophe was two spheroids instead of one.

Did you know that famous scientists like Newton, Sir Richard Owen, Einstein, Galileo, and Copernicus were creationists?

Yes, except for Owen and Einstein who were not. The others lived much longer ago when the god hypothesis was still the best they had.

Why do we not see black people come from white people?

DNA is a thing. And that can actually happen in rare cases when the parents have mixed ancestry but appear white.

Why are fruitflies still fruitflies in the lab experiments if they are claimed to prove evolution?

They haven’t evolved into something different enough to earn a different name. Doesn’t mean they haven’t evolved.

Did you know that the Piltdown Man was a hoax used for Darwinist propaganda?

Yes. I also know about dozens of extinct ape and human species that are not hoaxes.

Why do we not see frogs turn into birds?

They’re frogs, they’re not subjected to the environmental pressures that would cause them to evolve bird-like features, and even if they were such a process would take a very long time.

Why is Fox News dishonest if it is a network run by truthful Christians?

Because it constantly spreads falsehoods. If it’s run by Christians, they are fundamentally dishonest.

Why did Hitler fail to make a superior race if evolution is true?

Evolution was irrelevant to his chances of success; the Nazi regime opposed Darwinism, and Hitler’s goal for a “superior race” was based on his own unconventional Christian beliefs. Which were false.

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