Sure, I’ve heard all the arguments, about how we can’t understand God, how he works everything out for good. How in order to remain the most powerful being in existence, God must micro-manage every single event that ever happens. It doesn’t make sense. But sure, believe what you like.
And then God’s supposed “will” is used as an excuse for blatant stupidity and negligence, and that’s going too far. If your God is one who meticulously plans the horrific and painful details of the deaths of millions of innocent children, he is not a God I can accept as good and perfect. If your God states that his will is to save everyone, and he gets to choose who to save, and then he sends most humans to eternal torment because they can’t possibly do what he demands–that is nothing short of sadistic and insane.
No, it is not God’s will that a two-year-old be shot dead by her five-year-old brother. It is not God’s will for millions of men and women and boys and girls to be raped. It is not God’s will for children around the world to starve because rich Christians in America are too busy freaking out about gay people to help those who have almost nothing.
I would suggest not trying to cram reality into what you want to believe. You want truth? Death is truth. Chaos is truth. The universe is unraveling moment by moment, and while you can look hard enough to find isolated instances where things went oddly right, they aren’t miracles. If something unusual happens, but there are natural explanations for it, then it is not a miracle. Something is only a miracle if there is no possible natural explanation for it.
People who search for real truth are often accused of lacking faith. If I want to know exactly what caused a cancer patient who was dying to suddenly be healed, is my search for truth a rejection of faith? Maybe it’s just a threat to your belief in miracles. If you receive a clear and natural explanation for something that initially seemed mysterious, it’s only a bad thing because you so desperately wanted the explanation to be supernatural.
It’s the search for the truth behind seemingly miraculous healings that leads to ways to repeat the phenomena and help others. If you can’t explain something, look for an explanation. Don’t just get stuck in the mystery of it and call it faith; don’t value ignorance over wisdom.
And if something seems pointless, like the death of a small child, perhaps it is. There is no mystical explanation for why she died–the truth is simple and plain to see. The will of chaos is behind all pain and brokenness and death. The truth is that really good things and really bad things happen together, and neither is any more a miracle than the other. Neither is unnatural. Life and death, healing and sickness, they’re all perfectly natural aspects of this world. Often death results from stupidity, and that death was the desire of no conscious being, only the natural progression of things, just like a solar eclipse or a supernova.
If you can’t understand something, that doesn’t mean God is responsible. It means your knowledge is incomplete, that you don’t know the truth. Are you going to look for it or sit there in stagnant faith?