When Love is Hate

lgbt_taoism_s_yin_and_yang_by_lovemystarfire-d7dz4j0There’s a new fad these days…or maybe it’s not so new. It was mentioned thousands of years ago in the Christian bible–people who call good evil, and call evil good. Now it’s your love is actually hate, and my hate is actually love.

Is this how you want to justify your words and actions that are pushing more and more people away from your religion, closer to suicide, and generally in any direction other than the one you want them to go?

Is this how you win an ideological war…by slandering people who believe a bit differently?

A wonderful man named John Pavlovitz wrote an article about how he loves his children. His message can be boiled down to this: If his children are gay, he won’t keep it a secret as if he’s ashamed of them. He won’t treat them like sick and evil people who need to be fixed any more than anyone else does. He will love them deeply for the entirety of who they are, not despite or because of their differences.

Nowhere in his article did he say he would encourage them to have homosexual sex. He never says in the article that he will support and agree with any decisions his children make. But that is exactly the claim of some people who think This Pastor Hates His Children.

You couldn’t be more wrong. John Pavlovitz loves his children. And you hate that, because his love and your “love” are total opposites. If what he does is love, then your approach is hate. If you can twist his love into hate, then you can call your own hate love.

Who are you, to claim you know what is best for someone else’s children and he does not? You cannot assume, based on a brief article, that you know everything about how this man will teach and encourage his children.

Your big problem is this: Thanks to your hypocritical ideology, you are incapable of approaching LGBT people as people. All you see is a “harmful and destructive disorder”. You are incapable of expressing love for your fellow humans who happen to be gay, without adding a disclaimer about how evil homosexuality is. You can’t read a simple article that shows love and acceptance for people who are gay (not “people who have gay sex”) without writing a self-righteous rebuttal about how this love you see is actually hate. Why is it hate? Because it focuses on the positive instead of telling people how sick and evil they are?

Imagine every act of love for an obese person being prefaced with “now I wouldn’t really be loving you if I didn’t tell you that gluttony is destructive and sinful, and you need to repent of your lifestyle of gluttony to be a Christian.” Imagine that the person isn’t actually engaging in gluttony, but you know they are inclined to it. So they haven’t even done anything wrong, yet you are holding that guilt of future sin over their head.

That is what you are doing to LGBT people. You don’t love them. All you want to do is make sure they know how evil they are, whether or not they have had gay sex. And if anyone disagrees with you, if anyone thinks that maybe “being gay” isn’t a sin, they must hate LGBT people.

You are incapable of actually loving people when you remain so intensely focused on what they are doing wrong. If you think that accepting and loving your kids as they are is hateful, I hope you never have kids. And if you do, I pray that none of them are gay or autistic or anything abnormal. Because growing up as a deviation from normal, with a parent like you, would be hell.

Despite your poorly-supported arguments that gay people are just products of “traumatic childhood experiences” and “the pro-gay agenda”, there are plenty of LGBT people without traumatic pasts, who grew up in conservative Christian families like yours. You quote someone from Exodus International, an organization that has closed and apologized for causing harm to LGBT people. Many who went through the program, and advocated it, and even worked for them for decades, have come forward to say that it never worked. The “ex-gay” movement is falling apart as the “former homosexuals” who were genuinely gay, and genuinely sought to change because of their beliefs that it was wrong, come back to say that it didn’t work. They are still gay.

Evidence against you continues to grow, and acceptance of LGBT people with it. Soon you will find yourself in a hateful minority of extremists, clinging to false information and outdated ideas in your desperate attempt to make other people conform to your personal beliefs. You will be the laughingstock of your religion, you people who hear “if my child is gay I will love him the same” and think it means “if my child is gay I will encourage him to have sex with men.” You people who are incapable of letting others live according to their own beliefs without slandering them. You hypocrites who want the right to discriminate against people who believe differently than you do, yet whine about how oppressed and persecuted you are for your “faith”.

If your definition of love is treating people in ways that push them away and hurt them deeply, I have only one thing to say to you. Woe unto those who call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness. See to it that the light within you is not darkness. If you see yourself as a sinner, deal with your own sin before you even think about accusing a father of hating his children, simply because he chooses to focus on the good aspects of who they are and not hold any future sins they might commit against them in the present.


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